I want to watch Mary Poppins.

suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus

loose

commercial I saw first thing this morning:

Grandmother: (as she puts change into a parking meter) Wouldn't it be nice if life were like a parking meter? I could just keep putting in quarters and stay here with my family forever. But life doesn't work that way. That's why I have Colonial Penn life insurance.

Who approves these things?

casualties of war

Come back here with my immune system, ya' theivin' bastard!

various years ago today

extremely strange coincidences...there's apparently something about the number 27

mmmm...diplomatic potatoes

It is often quite fun to speak before you think.

autumnal desires

I want a taffy apple.

pub girl or street performer?

The thought of quitting my job and moving to Europe just got a whole lot more tempting.

unacceptable

Did you just divide by zero?

Is this standard?

The problem is that you have already supplied the solution.

pool or a pond

From now on I'm calling my 8-month-old niece to fix things in my apartment. I'm fairly sure she'd do a much better job than the current maintenance people.

www.hell.com/weather - chance of snowstorms

I just had a short, pleasant and helpful conversation with a customer service representative.

SRD

It really does not make me happy when I get in trouble for someone else's incompetence.

Yar!

Today's redeeming factor - Yahoo's main page headline has to do with the fact that it is Talk Like a Pirate Day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxLza2Lq1-g

these are the people in your neighborhood

There's a store about half a block from my apartment that appears to only be open at night. It's called Egor's Dungeon.

and found

Yes, clearly I needed to be addicted to another tv show. Side note - Sawyer is a dick, yet his hotness cannot be denied.

I will not buy this tobacconist's, it is scratched.

Online translators are funny.

conspiracy

Know what I haven't had in a while?
Big League Chew

Know why?
Because NONE of the stores in the loop carry it! Damnit.

barter system anyone?

This whole money thing sucks.

wow...weird

This is starting to seem like a cosmic version of Candid Camera.

too much of a good thing

And now for my latest illusion, I'm going to be sick.

seniority

I just have to pick up some Geritol and then it's off to my hip-replacement surgery.

Things I Never Thought Would be Said to Me - Cinq

"I'll send you my extraneous body hair in a clear plastic ziplock bag labeled "memories"."

Europeein

Two years ago - There really aren't enough fabulous words to describe this infamous day. Here's to priceless art, glorious views, good waiters, cheap wine, Hoopla, kickboxing, singing, bushes and the LNC.

please go

so I would choose to be with you
that's if the choice were mine to make...

Everything Store

Instant Praise - just add water!

return of the pack rat

threepiovertwo: girls always want to get married because the girls are insecure and neurotic

threepiovertwo: they're a vicious breed

WinnieE1: and males avoid it because they wish to spread their seed as much as possible in attempts at eventual world domination

threepiovertwo: totally

threepiovertwo: solution:

WinnieE1: i'm afraid....

threepiovertwo: the girls can all get married at 25

threepiovertwo: and the guy can get a robot to spread his seed for him!

threepiovertwo: the robot will spread it like butter, on a variety of surfaces

WinnieE1: and how will this lead to more offspring?

threepiovertwo: who said anything about offspring?

WinnieE1: and this seed spreading sans offspring will lead to world domination...how...?

threepiovertwo: if you want a child, you adopt a homeless

WinnieE1: is that your answer?

threepiovertwo: yes

WinnieE1: does the homeless person go into battle for you?

threepiovertwo: with whips and chains and even more seed

WinnieE1: does he vanquish your enemies?

threepiovertwo: naturally

WinnieE1: where can one acquire one of these vigilante homeless?

threepiovertwo: why, they are abundant natural resource

threepiovertwo: you find them in the dumpster, the pool hall, the speakeasy, or the ocean

WinnieE1: I've seen these people, but they more often ask me for change than offer to thwart my enemies.

threepiovertwo: why do you think they want the change?

threepiovertwo: to buy chainmail!

threepiovertwo: they can't go into battle in their britches

WinnieE1: it all adds up

threepiovertwo: god I have the answers to EVERYTHING

The best part - I don't really remember having this conversation.

things that are good

long-sleeved shirts
hot chocolate
finding something in the first place you look
Big League Chew

2 years ago today

preparing for the last leg of the trip - Milan to Paris

My relationships with my friends are so cyclical.

and the "Excuse me?" goes to...

Worst line in a commercial EVER -

Football player: "Tackling an oncoming opponent is hard, but it's not as hard as losing a loved one to prostate cancer."

I do not feel normal

Is it possible for me to go on any sort of vacation and not get sick?

ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news...

I'm sorry, correction - that is bad news.

bridges and towers and giant ferris wheels, oh my

Wow. It's been two years. Hooray for the LNC World Tour. Let's do it again.

poster child

side note - Oh good God, the irony.

terms/phrases/facts/quotes from the long weekend

repregnant - to be pregnant again

"Up With Horse-Youth"

Mark's alter-ego is a dumbass jock.

The free-roaming wild but domesticated yaks of Colorado like to hang out near I- 70.

"You haven't lived until you've stepped in a cow pie." ~M

"Ok, you go ooh and ahh and I'll avoid driving us off a cliff." ~M

"My right eye is having an extra-marital affair." ~M

Erin: I hated the stuff as a kid, and then in high school I suddenly loved it.

Mark: That was because of your changing hormones.

Erin: Are we still talking about cheesecake?

"Personally I would recommend wearing a seatbelt in any vehicle travelling 500 miles per hour, 6 miles above the earth's surface." ~ the pilot on my return flight, over the intercom

belated

Being out of state, I forgot to wish myself a Happy Blogiversary on September 1st. Now I can play the "at this time last year" game. Yeehaw.

repeating

1/8/06

I can't quite breath today
I cannot tell you why
Please ask me anyway
I have another lie

the hills are alive...

The Van Arsdale family is just as adorable as one would expect them to be.