I guess he'll have to settle for the bronze, Jim.

The following conversation is based on real events. The names have been changed to protect...somebody...

Telulah: I was thinking I could take up dog-throwing
Telulah: midget throwing is kind of last season
Telulah: although, I like dogs, so I'd have to practice on rats
Geraldine: as in "throw a dog at your neighbor"?
Telulah: yeah
Geraldine: cool
Telulah: although considering my like of dogs, I might have to substitute "big cushy mattress" for "neighbor"
Geraldine: eh, still the same principle...sort of...
Telulah: I could become a lobbyist for the sport of rat throwing.
It has been long ignored in the olympic circle.
Geraldine: this is true
Telulah: too long, in my opinion.
Telulah: I mean, a shotput can't even squeak or carry diseases. what fun is that?
Geraldine: i can't recall the last time i saw a good rat toss
Geraldine: saw one, yes. but a good one?
Telulah: I figured I'd start small. you know, as an elementary school field day event
Telulah: or as the fun and games at batmitzvahs
Geraldine: hey, gotta start somewhere
Geraldine: i hear the pole vault started at a batmitzvah
Geraldine: it was a right of passage
Telulah: see? there is hope.
Telulah: once the jews are on board, we're pretty much set.
Geraldine: that's just what jesus said
Telulah: indeed. indeed it is.