still the (piano) man

Billy Joel - You are awesome. I love you.

drunken, middle-aged, cackling, tone-deaf harpies in section 201/row 6 - It took the calming influence of my otherwise "take-no-shit" boyfriend to keep me from turning around and beating you to death with your own shoes. May you be eaten by rabid hyenas (which, remarkably, is what you sounded like).

In Barney's name we pray...

You can't make up quotes like this -

It took an act of God to render dinosaurs extinct, but real chutzpah to lay low a beloved orange landmark that has loomed over Route 1 for 47 years. Despite massive hind legs fortified with concrete and steel rods, the fiberglass Tyrannosaurus rex was viciously dinosaur-tipped sometime between late Thursday night and early Friday morning. “It’s Easter Sunday. Jesus Christ rose from the dead and so will that dinosaur,” vowed Diana Fay, owner of Route 1 Miniature Golf and Batting Cages in Saugus.

Hey, Groundhog - we gotta talk...

Last year on my birthday I wore a skirt and a sleeveless lace top to work. This morning it was snowing. I believe my brother put it best when he said, "Global warming, my ass."

Being a journalist might be fun because...

A) press passes

B) nifty fedoras

C) you get to write sentences like this;

'The company's theme song used to be "I'd like to buy the world a Coke," but apparently the offer doesn't apply to Jesus.'

ready? go.

I didn't leave the country in 2006. Not once. That's rather unacceptable.

the tea alone...

Perhaps it's the gray weather (but more likely it's the pictures I just saw on facebook) making me miss England so much this morning.