aww, nuts!

The product I just purchased boasts "Now More Flavor!" on the front of the package. Seeing that this particular snack is not cheesey, not barbecue, not sour cream nor onion, I have to ask, "Flavor of what?". I'm guessing it actually means "Now More Salt!".

It's so true!

Happy Gender Reassignment!!!

Most of these are better than the cheesey crap that ends up on the shelves.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-greet28.html

this is gonna suck

"Arnie Pie in the sky with the morning commute. Traffic this morning is as bad as it gets. Due to a fire at the army testing lab a bunch of escaped, infected monkeys are roaming the expressway. Despite the swealtering heat, don't unroll your windows 'cause those monkeys seem confused and irritable."

Forget the triple six - 94 is now the official number of unconditional evil.

"and you were there, and you..."

Yesterday I hung out with people from all of my social circles, though none at the same time. This is unquestionably a new personal record. (If anyone experienced problems with the space/time continuum, my apologies.)

do it for the kids

"A Washtenaw County man says he was defending his family when he shot down his neighbor's radio-controlled model airplane....Nuttle regrets his actions but he says the planes have been a nuisance. He says they scare his children, spook his chickens and cause his goats to faint from exhaustion. "

~Channel 3 Digital News - Washtenaw County

arghhh, son of a butt monkey!

Drinking water is not supposed to be a painful experience. Sheesh!

the four (tiny ceramic) horsemen

Two articles I read online today -

Tax Rebel Sends Threatened Gnomes Into Hiding
"A disabled council tax rebel has sent her collection of garden gnomes into hiding to avoid them being seized by local officials. "

Gnomes Footy Prank Annoys Police
"A team of garden gnomes has taken to a Melbourne footy field, but police are not amused."

LMR's Guide to Seduction - Chapter II

"I was gonna break up with him, but he makes like a retard so well."

eagle to nest...the moose is on the move

A good day is one that includes a reconnaissance mission.

best sentence I've read today

"The aim of the book is to inspire others to do something ridiculous for no apparent reason."

LMR's Guide to Seduction

"Excuse me for just a second. I have to do some math while looking at a picture."

ERROR - does not compute

Ok, one more time for the folks in the back...with their heads up their asses. Unless your entire relationship has existed in chat room form, it is NOT ok to end it via the internet!!!!!!

post bulletin

Ok. I'll admit that I am on Myspace and I check it fairly often. But I have an indescribable moral problem with the existence of this shirt.
http://www.bustedtees.com/shirts/tom

*sigh*

Sometimes Chicago is really, truly lovely. Like when it somehow manages to be almost 60 degrees in early March and you're cruising around Navy Pier at night, gazing at the skyline with some of the most wonderful people alive.

I'll take grrrr for 500, Alex

It is extremely frustrating to have to do things which may or may not be a complete waste of time, effort and money.

envelope malfunctions

Note to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences:
a) Congratulations on your decision to ignore endless media hype and speculation, and give an award to a film that is truly moving and frighteningly relevant in America today.
b) Despite the apparent beliefs of some, there is not a dictionary in existence that defines the word "song" as "One line of music placed sporadically within four minutes of unintelligible screaming." I suppose I could say - Congratulations on achieving the lowest point in the history of the Academy Awards.
c) If the timing for the ceremony is so constrained that the people who are being awarded don't even have time to say "thank you", you may want to consider avoiding the inclusion of multiple montages that have nothing to do with ANYTHING.

Thank you.